MONSTER: For the attention of Salam Khan, this is the (SIGH) Eight-legged-Hairy-Faced-Cave-Living-Monster. Try fitting that on your visa form. You created me as 'the scariest monster in all the land'!
Well for starters, I don't live in a cave and the 'scary' part…hmm, not quite true either. Thanks to your inspired mind, I sound like a London gentleman with back problems.
And don't worry for my safety, no one ever comes looking for me; no one has ever even heard of me.
My chum Lochie the Loch Ness Monster retired to the Bahamas 20 years ago and he still gets crowds at his old home!
So yep, this is Eight-legged-Hairy-Faced-Cave-Living-Monster saying, thanks salam!
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